This is the talk I gave at our Drury and MSU athletes' large group meeting earlier this semester. Enjoy!
I know my life looks really different than yours but I
remember what it was like to be in your shoes. I know it was a long time ago
but being a college athlete has shaped me in ways that are unique and good and
bad. Being a college athlete isn’t who you are, but it is a piece of the puzzle
and God totally uses sport to mold you into who he wants you to be. I didn’t get
to speak to you guys last semester because of transitioning into parenthood and
learning to balance everything so I was really excited when I knew I was going to
get to speak to you guys tonight.
I always like to talk about things that I’m
currently experiencing with the Lord or learning because I feel like its more
relevant and I’m passionate about it. But as I started thinking about what I’m
learning I thought, “Lord I am in a really different life stage than these
guys. I'm married with a baby. I’m old and boring. I'm usually in bed at 9:00
these days. What insight from my life do I have to offer them?” And the Lord
said, “Melissa, do you really think the sin patterns in your life are different
than when you were a college athlete? Its been 6 years but is your sin really
changed all that much?” And as I thought about it, I realized that it hasn’t.
Sure, my sin looks different now but as I start peeling back the layers I see at
the core the same old root issues. It manifests itself differently but I’ve
been able to see common threads weaving through my life. A desire for control. A
desire for acceptance. A desire for worth. That didn’t start all of a sudden
when I became a mom. It didn’t start even start when I was playing volleyball
at Missouri State. It has been a part of my sin struggle from the very beginning.
So I share with you some of the fresh stuff that’s been happening in my life,
some of the stuff I’ve been learning lately but they are things I’ve been learning
for years and I just keep learning in new ways, in deeper ways. Hopefully you’ll see some of your sin patterns in my story and be able to
relate to what I’m going to share.
Before we read I want to give you some context on what is
happening as our author writes our passage. Our author is Paul who if you
remember before he met Christ was literally killing Christians. He was adamantly
opposed to Christ and his message; so much so that he was persecuting the church
and even putting people to death. But eventually God totally transforms him.
That story is in Acts 9 if you want to read it. Basically God uses extraordinary
circumstances and Paul turns from his ways and totally surrenders his life to
Christ. He becomes a missionary and ends up writing most of the New Testament. His
life is SO cool. In 2 Corinthians what is happening is that Paul had gone on a
missionary journey to the city of Corinth. It was a huge commercial hub and he
spent almost 2 years there ministering to the people. After Paul leaves he hears of some false teachers coming into the city and start preaching a false
gospel. They’re leading people astray and the way they start doing that is by
attacking Paul’s character. They want to discredit Paul as an apostle so that
the people won’t believe what he says about Christ’s death and resurrection. 2 Corinthians is a letter to the church in Corinth that confronts
these false teachers and defends his position of apostleship.
2 Corinthians 12:1-10
I must go on boasting. Though there is nothing to be gained by it, I
will go on to visions and revelations of the Lord. I know a man in Christ who
fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven—whether in the body or out
of the body I do not know, God knows. And I know that this man was caught up
into paradise—whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows— and he heard things that cannot be told, which man may not utter. On behalf
of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my
weaknesses— though if I should wish to boast, I would not be a fool, for I
would be speaking the truth; but I refrain from it, so that no one may think
more of me than he sees in me or hears from me. So to keep me from becoming
conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn
was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from
becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it
should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my
power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly
of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake
of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships,
persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Can I just tell you? I don’t like
that. I’ve spent my entire life trying to competent. I’ve spent my entire life
avoiding weakness. And here comes Paul saying that he boasts in his weakness.
Not tolerates. Not deals with. No, he boasts in his weakness. Why? So that the
power of Christ may rest upon him. We’ll get more into that in a second but
let’s dissect this a little bit.
First, lets address the weird part at the beginning. Paul doesn’t
give us a lot of details here but scholars who are smarter than me believe that
he is actually talking about himself in the third person. Because he’s not
willing to out right say that he is talking about himself you can see his
hesitancy to boast in actual real spiritual experiences or accomplishments. When he does boast he does it sarcastically. The reason he even
mentions any of his experiences or accomplishments is because the false
teachers in Corinth were boasting about the spiritual experiences they had and
their ethnic identity. Flip back a little bit to chapter 11 middle of verse 21.
2 Corinthians 11:21b-28
But whatever anyone else dares to boast of—I am speaking as a fool—I
also dare to boast of that. Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites?
So am I. Are they offspring of Abraham? So am I. Are they servants of
Christ? I am a better one—I am talking like a madman—with far greater labors,
far more imprisonments, with countless beatings, and often near death. Five
times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three
times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked;
a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from
rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles,
danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false
brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger
and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. And, apart from
other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the
churches.
These things actually did happen to him, which is crazy. He lays out this whole list but at the beginning of chapter 12 he hesitates
to talk about the revelations and talks like the experience happened to someone else.
Then you go a little farther down and he jumps into his weaknesses: this thorn
in the flesh. The smart scholars guess that this thorn in the flesh was
probably a physical ailment. I mean how could you not have physical ailments
after everything he went through right? Gosh. Paul was tough. Two days seem
like a vacation compared to what he endured right?
So what you need to know is Paul is a beast. Some false
teachers were causing trouble in Corinth and Paul had something to say about
it. There are 3 main truths I see when I look at this passage. And I have to
tell you my flesh fights against this with all its might. Like I said before I
don’t like this. Deep in my heart I know these things are true but my sin runs
so deeply that I fight it with all my might.
First truth is that
God cares more about real needs than felt needs.
Here’s what I mean: God
will often withhold something from me. Something I really feel that I need. That can be really hard and frustrating at times, but usually he’s doing something when he doesn’t give me what I feel like I need. Usually he’s shaping my
character and making me more like him. There is a real need in my heart and God
cares about transforming me to look more like his son.
I’ll give you an example
that hits kind of close to home for me right now. One of my gifts in life is
that I’m an excellent sleeper. I pride myself on the ability to fall asleep in
about 5 minutes no matter where I am. I LOVE sleep. I tell my husband that one
of my love languages is sleep. Like, I don’t want flowers or diamonds. I want a
nap. So as you can imagine the last 6 months of my life have been rough. I
don’t function well when I'm sleep deprived. I told my husband when we were engaged
that I get cranky on little sleep. He said ok and braced himself for that day.
Well, our first year of marriage we were raising support which meant we made
our own schedule and most days we got 10 or so hours of sleep. It was amazing.
He had never experienced my sleep deprived tantrums. And then Aiden arrived.
And I didn’t sleep longer than 3 hours for 2 months. Let’s just say his eyes
have been opened to the real me. I have adjectives for it but they’re not
appropriate in this setting. And to make matters worse I had this notion in my
head that babies are supposed to sleep through the night by 3 months old. Well
guess what? He’s almost 6 months still gets up 2 and sometimes 3 times a night. Guys, I’m exhausted and I tell God all the time I NEED SLEEP. I beg God to let Aiden sleep long stretches
and when he doesn’t I struggle with anger in the middle of the night. There
have been so many nights I have inwardly yelled at God and asked him, “Why do
you hate me?”. There are nights I get frustrated with my sweet baby boy. Sleep
is my felt need. It feels like a real need but the last few weeks God has been
showing me the sin in my heart. I want to be in control. I love comfort. I
don’t like to sacrifice for others. I get angry and frustrated because I can’t
control my son. I have to sacrifice my comfort for the good of my son. And my
flesh fights it with all its might.
This is been true all my life. I remember
back to my senior year at Missouri State. I wasn’t playing much and it tore me
up. I was devastated. I was going to end my volleyball career on a really sour
note and I hated that. I begged God to change things but he didn’t. It ended
and it wasn’t even bittersweet like most senior seasons are. That season was
just bitter. It took me a long time to see what God was doing in my heart. He
was dealing with a real need I had. See, volleyball was an idol in my life. I
found so much worth and identity in my status as a college athlete. He used the
pain of that season to bring me to him. I walked with Jesus closer that
semester than I ever had in college. I started putting my worth in what Christ
said about me. Sport stopped being king in my life and Jesus took over that
role. It was such a hard and painful season but looking back I wouldn’t change
a thing. Because God met a real need that I had in my life and I’m better for
it.
You see God did the same thing in Paul’s life. Verse 7 says, “So to keep me
from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations,
a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep
me from becoming conceited.” Obviously there was a real need in Paul’s life for
humility. He says “to keep me from becoming conceited” twice in one short
sentence. God used this thorn in the flesh to teach Paul dependence and
humility. That couldn’t have been fun. He begged God 3 times to take it away.
But what did God say to him? “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is
made perfect in weakness.” As far as I know God never removed this thorn in the
flesh for Paul. He had to trust that this real need was more important than his
felt need. You see in Romans 8:18 Paul says, "I consider that our present
sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us" and in 2 Corinthians 4:17, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving
for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” Paul knew that God was
working something glorious in his life. God does that in our lives too. I can’t
say it’s always pleasant but looking back at those times in my life I’m so
grateful. As I struggle with this felt need of sleep I’m praying that I trust
God. He is doing something good in my heart and I want to remember that is more
important. At the end of my life I bet I won’t say, “wow, I wish I slept more.”
No, I bet I’ll say, “I want to be more like Jesus.”
So, what does this look like in your life? Let’s get
practical. If you’re going to grow you have to recognize the real needs in your
life. We can spend our entire lives above the surface asking God to meet our
felt needs and missing what he really wants to do in us. We have to learn to
peel back the layers and see the root sin in our lives. When I was getting
angry and frustrated in the middle of the night my first response was to blame
my situation. It was the lack of sleep that made me act that way, but that
isn’t true right? No there was something deeper under the surface. I had to ask
myself, “Why are you so angry? Why are you so frustrated?” It was my desire for
comfort and control that was causing the anger. Paul Tripp at DCC last year
said something that was very eye opening. He said, “Your words and behaviors
are more formed by what’s happing inside of you than what’s happening around
you.” But we like to blame right? It’s my family’s fault. It’s my teammate’s
fault, my professor’s fault, my coaches’ fault, my environment’s fault, it’s
the system’s fault. No. When you see the fruit of sin in your life you have to
stop and start looking at the root. Think about a tree. If the leaves withered
and its bears no fruit what do you have to do? Look at the root system. God
cares about your root system. He cares about your heart. He cares about your
fruit too. I’m not saying he doesn’t care about your felt needs. I truly
believe that God cares about my desire to sleep. But, he cares more about my
heart because it’s eternal.
So practically speaking when you see sin in your
life I want you to ask yourself, “What is the root of this sin?” What’s behind
your anger? What’s behind your pride? Where are you not believing truth about
God or about yourself? I want to challenge to go below the surface and trust
that what God is doing in your heart is worth it. Paul was content with this
thorn in the flesh because God was doing something in his heart. So as you feel
the tension of unmet felt needs in your life continue to trust the Lord, be
looking for the root of your sin, and let God’s grace be sufficient for you.
The second thing I
see in this passage is that circumstances are not an indicator of God’s love or
goodness.
This is a hard truth for me sometimes. There are times I reduce
God to a genie in the sky. When he doesn’t give me what I want I think he must
not love me or he must not be very good. Raising money to work for Cru is one
of the hardest things I have ever done. I don’t particularly like asking anyone
for money, let alone someone I just met. Like I said before my husband and I
spent all of last school year raising the funds to get back to full time work
on campus. It was a long year but in all the waiting and the hard days I
arrived at the most beautiful place. I got to a point where I could say, “If
God doesn’t provide one more cent I know that I am loved and that he is good.”
I didn’t get there on my own. God was working on my real needs as I felt the
tension of the felt need of financial support. He changed my heart and helped
me see the truth.
The Bible is littered with characters that walked through
terrible circumstances but still believed the truth that they were loved and
that God was good. My favorite of these stories is Joseph’s. Joseph was one of
12 sons and he was the favorite. He was also kind of a punk. This didn’t sit
too well with his brothers and they threw him in a pit then sold him into
slavery. He makes it into a really important official’s house and rises to in
charge of all he owned. Well, then this guy’s wife comes on to Joseph. When he
refuses her she cries rape and he gets thrown in prison. While in prison he
interprets a few dreams which impresses the Pharaoh and he makes him second in
command of the whole nation. In this position he saves the whole nation
including his brothers from starving to death during a famine. Joseph’s life
has more ups and down than a soap opera. He says something in Genesis 50:20, “You
intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this
position so I could save the lives of many people.” Joseph is just one of many
of these stories in the Bible.
I read a book a few years ago by John Piper
called A Sweet and Bitter Providence. The book is about the story of
Ruth but its about way more than her meeting her Boaz. It’s about gender and
race and suffering the sovereignty of God. It’s an excellent book and I highly
recommend it. This book hit me so hard because it directly confronted the lies
I believed about my circumstances. One of my favorite things Piper says in the
book is, “Life is not a straight line leading from one blessing to the next and
then finally to heaven. Life is a winding and troubled road. Switchback after
switchback. And the point of biblical stories like Joseph and Job and Esther
and Ruth is to help us feel in our bones (not just know in our heads) that God
is for us in all these strange turns. God is not just showing up after the
trouble and cleaning it up. He is plotting the course and managing the troubles
with far-reaching purposes for our good and for the glory of Jesus Christ.”
Don’t you love that? He is working for your good and his glory, in all
circumstances. I want to feel in my bones that God is for me. Don’t you?
God
tells Paul that his grace is sufficient for him. When my circumstances aren’t
the way I want them to be do I believe that his grace is sufficient? Even in
weakness and trials God loves me and is good to me. Paul was convinced of this
and in Romans 8:28-29 he writes, “For I am sure that neither death nor life,
nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor
height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate
us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Nothing can separate you
from the love of Christ. God’s love and goodness is never absent from any
circumstance in your life.
What does this look like in your life? Let’s get practical. What
is your response when things don’t go your way? When you experience trials or
suffering? How do you view God in those moments? Your answer to those questions
probably indicate your thoughts on God’s love and goodness. If we remember the
truth from our first point we can understand that suffering and trials and weakness
are producing something in us that is far greater than our limited brains can
comprehend. In those moments when we are tempted to be a victim to our circumstances
and doubt God’s love we need to cling to truth. Your circumstances will always
overcome you if you don’t have a firm grasp on the truth. What I have found to
be so helpful in my battle against lies is memorizing scripture. What if you
memorized Romans 8:28-29? What if when life got really hard you let the truth
of God’s word shape your thoughts rather than the world? What if you had an
eternal perspective and could trust God with the difficulties of life? Does
your faith feel like a roller coaster based on what’s going on in your life at
the time? Or are you steady even when the waters start rising and storms come?
Based on this truth I want to challenge you to memorize scripture, to KNOW
God’s word. I want to challenge you to believe rightly. Paul did and let God’s
grace be sufficient for him.
The third thing I see
is that I can be content with weakness because I get more of Christ.
My
family knows this about me but I just don’t try things that I know I won’t
excel in. I stay away from dancing or anything musical. I try to avoid foreign
languages. I avoid things that require artistic ability. I just don’t like
looking stupid. There’s this deep-rooted sin in me that wants to be accepted
and you generally aren’t accepted when you’re a failure. So I just told you I
stay away from dancing. I can’t emphasis enough I little talent I have. I blame
my Christian school upbringing. We weren’t allowed to have prom because
“dancing makes babies” so I never really learned how to dance. That, and I have
no rhythm anyway. A few weeks ago my mom asked me to go to a Zumba class with
her. Of course I said no, but she wore me down and eventually I went. Its bad
enough that I can’t do the moves but they also have a gigantic mirror on the
wall. So not only do I feel like an idiot I have to watch myself look like an
idiot. I really don’t know how the instructor doesn’t just die laughing the
whole time. That’s what they’re really getting paid for: holding in their
laughter at all the awkwardness.
I don’t like failure. I don’t like weakness. I
want to be successful and competent. Sure, I can avoid dancing and art but you
can’t run from your weakness in every aspect of life. Eventually you get thrust
into things you don’t excel in. If my husband heard this he would shake his
head. He would tell you I’m a good mom and by God’s grace I am. But if I’m
being real there are days were I feel like a huge fat failure as a mom. But
there’s no escaping it. This isn’t a Zumba class I can just avoid. This sweet
little person is depending on me, even on those days I feel like I’m failing
him. I have seen more of my weakness in motherhood than any other aspect of
life. And again my flesh fights it. But Paul says in verse 10, “For the sake of
Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions,
and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” He was content. That
blows me away. Here’s what Paul understood: in his weakness he experienced more
of Jesus. He says in verse 9 that the “power of Christ” would rest upon him. He
was content because in his weakness Christ showed up.
Slowly I am learning to
be content with my weakness as a mother. In those moments I don’t know what to
do I am starting to run to God for wisdom. In those moments of anger I am
starting to confess my sin and ask for the Spirit’s presence. In the haze of
exhaustion I am starting to depend on the Lord for strength. He is using my
weakness to draw me to himself. And it is so, so worth it. There are days I
wish I didn’t struggle. I wish I could just arrive… but then I wouldn’t need
Jesus and honestly that is much worse than being confronted with my weakness.
There is nothing I want more than the grace of God. “My grace is sufficient for
you.” I rest in that. That is the gospel. It isn’t about what I do or don’t do.
It isn’t about how competent I am. Jesus’ death and resurrection is enough. His
grace is enough to cover all my weakness and all my sin. Ephesians 2:8-9 says,
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own
doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works that no one should boast.”
I have been saved by grace and I continue to need grace daily. As I need grace
daily I experience more of Jesus.
What does this look like in your life? Let’s get practical. I
want to challenge you tonight to embrace your weakness. Can we agree that this
is counter cultural? Michael Jordan is quoted as saying, “My attitude is that
if you push me towards something you think is a weakness, then I will turn that
perceived weakness into a strength.” Our culture hates weakness. You as
athletes know these maybe better than anyone. Weakness means sitting the bench.
I’m not asking you stop trying to improve in your sport. I’m not asking you to
stop working hard. I’m not asking you to be self-deprecating or overly critical
of yourself. I am asking you to, like Paul, run to God with your weakness. I’m
asking you to trust God. In a world where so many run from their weakness or
work themselves ragged trying to do better and be better will you let Christ be
sufficient for you?
At DCC a staff member got up and said something so profound
to the crowd. I only saw a snip-it of what he said but it hit me like a ton of
bricks. He said that when God calls you, he calls all of you. Strengths AND
weaknesses. He has gifted me in certain ways and he uses that for his glory.
But he also knows my deficiencies and my shortcomings and he wants to use those
for his glory too. I think sometimes I imagine that God sets out good works for
me and cheers when I use my gifts to accomplish them. But then my weakness gets
in the way and there he is, sighing and shaking his head. That’s is not an
accurate picture. No, he is glorious and powerful enough to use our
weaknesses in extraordinary ways. And at the end of it all, when God uses our
weakness to bring about success who gets the glory? Yep. He does. Isn’t that
beautiful? Paul again speaks in 1 Corinthians 2:1-5 saying, “And I, when I came
to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with
lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus
Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much
trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom,
but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might not
rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.”
So, you don’t feel
confident leading a bible study? GOOD. There’s a sin struggle you just can’t
seem to beat in your own strength no matter how hard you try? GOOD. You’re
scared to share your faith with your unbelieving teammate? GOOD. You don’t know
what the future holds? GOOD. There are things God is calling you to do. You
might feel inadequate and again I say, “GOOD.” His grace is sufficient for you.
His power is made perfect in your weakness. And in that weakness you get more of Jesus. How truly wonderful. Why don’t you step out in faith and
let God’s grace be sufficient for you?
