Already Inadequate

I was talking with my mother in law earlier today about how I hadn't blogged in so long (other than our monthly prayer letter updates of course). Not that life hasn't changed dramatically... it has. Not that I haven't had thoughts about these life changes... I have. I guess I just hadn't quite figured out how to communicate it. And then tonight I lie in bed unable to sleep, which if you know me at all is quite something. I happen to be an excellent sleeper. I just felt the Lord saying, "get up and go write it down." Don't know why, but I guess today is the day.

So here are the late night musings of a soon to be first time mom. Let me preface this whole post by saying that I am absolutely thrilled to be a mom. I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea here. This is just me being honest about the tension in my heart as I enter into uncharted territories.

Motherhood was always on a pedestal for me. I admit I have idolized it. Two of the things I wanted most in life was to get married to wonderful man (check that one off the list! I've got me a keeper) and to have lots of babies. Well, in December we found out we were pregnant. I, of course, was overjoyed. And that bliss has stayed with me until recently. Don't get me wrong it's still there. I am SO excited to become a mom, but recently other thoughts have crowded in as well. Maybe it's because everything has become so much more real. Maybe that's because this little person finally has a gender (male) and a name (Aiden). Maybe it's because my belly is getting bigger and my shirts fit weird. Not that I'm complaining, any excuse to go shopping is great in my opinion. Maybe it's all these stretch marks that are appearing or the rib that's out of place and causing constant pain. Whatever the reason these last few months I've had the thought, "What in the world am I getting myself into? I'm not ready for this." Recently motherhood has fallen off its pedestal.

I look at the moms around me and think that there is no way I can do what they do.

• They can be incredibly sick, coughing up gross colors and yet they take care of their babies anyway. I don't want to do that. I want to lay and bed and make Davy bring me soup. 
• They get up all night to feed their baby or wake up early because their toddlers can't seem to sleep past 6. I don't want to be woken up before 9 AM. Did I mention what an excellent sleeper I am? Well that generally means 8+ hours of sleep. And I like it that way. 
• They deal with icky bodily functions. I don't want to clean up throw up. I don't "do" throw up.
• They sacrifice for the good of their kids. I don't want to sacrifice. I liked my life the way it was. 
• They prioritize family over ministry. I love my job. The girls I disciple felt like children to me. How do I give some of that up? How do I change diapers and wipe boogers with joy when right now I'm thinking I'd much rather meet with girls on campus?

Do you all of a sudden turn into a selfless superwoman when they place that baby in your arms for the first time? Because as I look at all the moms around me I already feel inadequate. All those selfish thoughts above have run through my mind as I've thought about this transition into motherhood. I love my life. Just the way it is. Am I really ready to do this? 

And just as any loving father should, in these panicked moments, God reminds me that he isn't interested in my adequacy. His love for me isn't dependent on anything I do. I know these moms I look at aren't perfect. I'm sure many of those same thoughts cross their minds as they are cleaning up throw up or giving up something they love for the sake of their kids. I know these moms live moment by moment by the grace of God. There is no such thing as superwoman; just broken women living dependent on the Holy Spirit for power for today. 

That's hard for me. I want to be superwoman. And if not superwoman, I want to at least be adequate. God has had this funny way of changing my life the moment I get too comfortable. To give you a snapshot of the last few years: I've completely changed my career goals, raised financial support to be a missionary (something I prayed as a child God would never make me do), gone to Africa four times (something else I prayed against), got married, raised support again, and now am expecting a baby. It seems like just when a season of life gets comfortable, when I'm finally feeling like I've got things under control, getting good at life, God swoops in and changes everything. It's his loving way of saying, "Melissa, I'm not interested in how good you can be at life. I want you to trust in me. The goal isn't adequacy. The goal is dependence." 

Well here we are again: at this crossroads of choosing dependence, of choosing to be inadequate and letting the Spirit empower me for the day's tasks. I know many of you are in this boat with me. Maybe it's not motherhood, but something else. Let us be encouraged by Paul's words in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10.

"So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Yes, I am already inadequate, but his grace is sufficient for me. In that, I will rest.

March Newsletter

We are so thankful for your constant support and care for what is going on in our lives and want to extend the same love and care to you. IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY FILLED OUT OUR "GETTING TO KNOW YOU" SHEET WILL YOU PLEASE TAKE 2 MINUTES RIGHT NOW AND FILL IT OUT? It would help us so much. Thank you! 

Click Here to Fill Out the Getting to Know You Sheet

Big Break Recap 

Southwest Missouri students and staff returned from their Spring Break trip to Panama City Beach, FL on Saturday. One of our interns, Jack, said, “The students were definitely equipped with great evangelism skills and took steps of faith to share on the beach but the community that formed was the most powerful thing for me to see. Already many from the group are hanging out and planning to go sharing with each other on campus on a regular basis.” We are so excited to see how God continues to move in our students’ lives as they return to campus equipped with skills to share their faith. Check out a few student testimonies below.

“I am truly thankful to be given an opportunity this past week to grow out of my comfort zone, to take a step of faith to share the gospel and to listen to heartfelt life stories that might never be heard. Seven days of challenge are never easy, sometimes discouraging with lots of rejections, but all made possible in the presence of God's power comes in form of true friendship. Spring break has come to an end but what I have learned is to be carried now and forever.”

— Hien, a Vietnamese student studying at MSU (pictured above, right.)

“God has changed my life completely around ever since I accepted him in my life as my Lord and Savior! He used me this week to help spread the gospel and open up some people's hearts to the awesome God he is! Sharing my faith was super stressful for me because it was something I had never done before. One of the most incredible moments was witnessing how God works and watching someone accept Christ.”

— Leon, an MSU student who spent last year’s Spring Break partying on the beach in Panama City (pictured above, center before heading out on the beach to share the Knowing God Personally booklet.) This booklet is an evangelism tool students learned how to use over Spring Break.

At Big Break, students used different evangelism tools to engage in Gospel conversations. Here Kylee is using Solarium: fifty thought-provoking images designed to spark significant spiritual conversations.

NOT JUST FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS

Do you have the desire to share your faith, but don’t know how? The tools our students use to share their faith are not just for college students. Our hope is that every Christian would have the knowledge and tools to share their faith anytime an opportunity presents itself. These tools are available for you, too, right on your smartphone. Check out the links below or search for these apps in the app store. 

GOD TOOLS: http://godtoolsapp.com/       

PERSPECTIVE CARDS: http://www.perspectivecards.com/app/

CONTACT US WITH ANY QUESTIONS! WE’D LOVE TO HELP YOU UTILIZE THESE INCREDIBLE APPS. 

Prayer Requests

• We are at 80% of our monthly financial goal. Please pray God continues to provide and we finish our support quickly so we can report back to campus.
• McBaby and momma are doing well. Our next appointment is April 2nd. Continue to pray for a healthy baby and for us as we prepare to be parents.
• Pray for our students that returned from Big Break. Pray they continue to step out in faith and engage in spiritual conversations with friends and family. Pray that the community that was built continues to grow and bless these students.

HOW CAN WE PRAY FOR YOU? FILL OUT THE FORM TO THE RIGHT AND LET US KNOW. 

February 2015

“This is what I’ve been searching for.”

A few weeks ago I received a Facebook message from a volleyball player. She wanted to meet up to talk about spiritual things and I couldn’t have been more excited. When we got together last week she told me how God has been pursuing her through interactions with her teammates over the last 2 years. She had ignored these signs from the Lord until now. She poured out her heart to me and asked all her questions. After I listened I shared the Gospel with her and at the end she said, “This is what I’ve been searching for.” Even though she admitted she still had a lot of questions and much to learn she decided that she wanted to go home and surrender her life to Christ. I am so humbled and thankful to be a part of God’s story for her life. She will be meeting with a volleyball teammate who leads the team Bible study for discipleship. Praise God with me! I have watched God transform the volleyball team over the past 5 years and use so many of those girls for HIS glory. 

Big Break

Each year we send students to Panama City Beach, Florida for spring break. Most college students make their way to PCB to spend the week partying with their friends on the beach, but our students are going to this dark place to serve Christ. 23 students from Southwest MO will be in PCB from March 7-14 to share their faith with other college students on the beach. They will receive training on how to engage in spiritual conversations. For many of our students this will be the first time they have ever shared their faith. 

Please pray for our staff and students as they seek to share Christ with lost students in PCB. Pray also for deep friendships to develop among our students as they road trip and spend a week together in community. Finally, pray for our band who will be leading this 1,000 student conference in worship all week. 

Davy is pictured above (back, middle in the cowboy hat) with the SWMO group that attended Big Break last year. 

COTE D’IVOIRE     

Many of you may know that travel to Cote d’Ivoire had been banned due to Ebola. We are happy to report the ban has been lifted and the American staff who normally live there year round will be able to return this summer with students for a summer mission trip. 

WHAT'S NEXT: FELLOWSHIP DINNER 

For those of you in the Southwest Missouri area, we want to invite you to our annual Fellowship Dinner onMarch 27th at 6:30 PM. This is a time to learn more about Cru's vision and celebrate all the things God has done over the past year. Please let us know if you would like to attend. We would LOVE to have you. You can respond to this email and let us know. 

MCBABY UPDATE     

We are currently at 17 weeks and starting to see a baby bump! The heartbeat was strong at our last doctor’s appointment. We are excited to find out the gender at our next appointment on April 2nd.  

Prayer Requests                   

• We are at 75% of our monthly support goal. Please pray we finish quickly so we can get back to campus this Spring. 

• One of the volleyball players in Cru lost her dad in a tragic accident at the beginning of this month. Her mom was critically injured, but is recovering well. Please pray for her family during this difficult time and for her mom as she does physical therapy.

• Pray for the 40 students who are raising funds to go on Cru summer mission trips. We are so proud of our students for going around the world to share the Gospel. Pray God provides for all their needs. 

HOW CAN WE PRAY FOR YOU? FILL OUT THE FORM TO THE RIGHT AND LET US KNOW

                

January Prayer Letter

WE’RE PREGNANT!!

Meet our child, who we are for now affectionately calling, “McBaby.” We are so excited to go on this new adventure of parenthood! This child will the be the first grandkid for both our parents, first great-grandchild, and the first niece or nephew for our siblings, so everyone is thrilled for the baby’s arrival.

As of Jan 11th, we are ten weeks along making the due date August 8th! It was so fun to see the baby wiggling around and to hear the heart beating during the ultrasound! Both McBaby and I are doing well, although I have definitely experienced the nausea often associated with the first trimester. 

Denver Christmas Conference 

Have you every had the chance to sit in a room with 1,000 other people worshipping God? Ever set aside five full days to listen to Biblical teaching, spend time in the word/prayer, and fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ? DCC provides exactly those opportunities to our students. Some give their lives to God for the first time, some recommit after wandering away for a season, others confess untold sin and experience new freedom, and many share their faith for first time. It is a faith stretching week and everyone leaves different than when they came. 

I was able to give a seminar to 100+ girls on fighting lies that women believe and it was very highly rated by those who attended. Davy led a team of 25 people as the production director of the main sessions. We are blessed to be a part of something like this. Please pray for continued passion as students go back to campus life. 

The ballroom during set up. All these chairs were filled during the conference.

It is an amazing experience to worship God with over a thousand people. 

Here I am giving my seminar talk. There were so many girls we ran out of chairs and they had to sit on the floor.

Our Ivorian friend Stéphane is studying to get a masters degree in Texas. Davy met Stéphane his first summer mission trip in Ivory Coast and they became great friends. He was able to come to DCC and we were SO overjoyed to get to spend time with him. Here our emcee is interviewing Stéphane on his "American experience." He admitted to being incredibly cold and enjoying McDonald's Big Mac's. 

Students are hanging up commitment cards. Students that filled out these cards chose to surrender their futures to God and go where he would have them go and do whatever he would have them do. 

Here are rows and rows of commitment cards. This is only one side of the stage. The other side was lined with cards as well. We are so thankful students are willing to give their lives to the Lord and be used for his glory.

Our SW MO student band got the chance to play this year at DCC. One of the members,Tim, told me his family watched the sessions online to see him play even though they are not believers. He is excited to engage in conversation about God with them now!

PRAYER REQUESTS

• We are at 67% of our monthly financial support goal.Thank you for praying and giving.

• Having a baby does increase our financial goal as we add the new expenses of raising a child. Please take a moment and pray both for the pregnancy and for the new monthly support needs!

• New Year’s resolutions and desperation brings many students to the feet of Jesus in the Spring semester. Pray they find firm footing in the gospel and that our staff find power in the Holy Spirit to handle to increased load. 

HOW CAN WE PRAY FOR YOU? FILL OUT THE FORM TO THE RIGHT AND LET US KNOW!

The first weekly meeting of the semester is Jan 15th.This is usually our largest meeting of the year.The hang out after the meeting will be at our house (probably 100+ students). Pray God brings lots of students to Himself this semester. 

DCC Live Stream Video

Davy and I are so excited to be at Denver Christmas Conference and we want to share it with you. Below is a link that will allow you to watch the main DCC sessions. You'll get to join us and 1,000+ college students as we worship God and dive deeper into our relationship with Him. Below is a schedule that lists the times of the sessions. PLEASE KEEP IN MIND WE ARE IN COLORADO AND THE TIMES LISTED BELOW ARE IN MOUNTAIN TIME. 

CLICK HERE FOR DCC LIVE STREAM

MONDAY 12/29

9:00 -10:30 AM - Paul Tripp
7:30 - 9:30 PM - Libby Swenson

TUESDAY 12/30

9:00 -10:30 AM - Paul Tripp
7:30 - 9:30 PM - Justin Stringer (our director at Missouri State!)

WEDNESDAY 12/31

9:00 -10:30 AM - Paul Tripp
10:00 PM - 12:30 AM - Nicole Lewis and New Year's Eve worship celebration

THURSDAY 1/1

10:00 AM -12:00 PM - Paul Tripp
7:30 - 9:30 PM - Rick James

For more information on the conference or the speakers please visit the DCC WEBSITE. We hope you enjoy experiencing a little bit of our job. We are thankful for your support and allowing us to invest in the lives of college students.

PRAYER REQUESTS

• Please pray for Davy. He is a main meeting producer and has a huge job making the meetings happen. He also got sick right before we came to Denver. Please pray for quick healing so he can focus solely on his job.
• Please pray for me. I will be giving a seminar for women only on Thursday at 1:30. It is about lies that women believe and how to fight them with truth from God's word. I'm really looking forward to this talk so please pray I am filled with the Spirit and that God works in the hearts and minds of the women that will be coming to my seminar.
• Finally, please pray for the MSU students that are here in Denver. There are 104 students here and our prayer is that God would rock every single one of their worlds. Please pray for them. 

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas friends! We pray that you enjoy this holiday season. Let's remember to rejoice in our Savior's birth. 

Please pray with us as Denver Christmas Conference is just days away! We can't wait to see how God uses this conference in the lives of college students. 

November Prayer Letter

Can I get an Amen!?

The numbers you see in the picture above represent what happened just last year through the ministry of Cru on college campuses. 230,000 new believers will be rejoicing around the throne with us in Heaven. 23,000 of our students were trained in how to share their faith. If you ever have the temptation to believe that America is lost for good, please rejoice with us in the fruit evident in these numbers. Lives are being changed. Eternities are being changed. Your investment plays a significant role in seeing it happen. Join us in giving thanks for God’s goodness this past year and pray for more in 2015!  

“I was settling for a life that was too small.”

Every November juniors and seniors all across the country gather to answer the question, “What’s next?” and “Am I willing to go where God leads?” Fifteen students from Southwest, MO traveled to Kansas City for this annual conference with Cru, called Beyond. Beyond challenges these upperclassmen to understand they are 100% sent, which simply put- states they are missionaries whether they enter the work force or go into vocational ministry. 

Allie, one of the women Melissa has discipled the past few years, attended this conference and it shifted her whole perspective on ministry in the work place. She says, “While I was there, God spoke through the speakers and challenged me to think differently. One speaker said, ‘Whatever you do, don’t live an ordinary life.’ When he said that, I broke down crying because I realized that was what my plans were: ordinary. I knew that I was settling for a life that was too small. I am confident in going forward as a teacher, but now I am seeking opportunities to spread the Gospel in my school. More than anything, I am now willing and open to do anything God is calling me to do, wherever that may be!”

We are so excited that Allie and these fifteen students want to surrender control of their futures. Pray with us that God uses them to impact the world! 

Allie just finished her student teaching and it is so encouraging to hear her passion for education. She wants to impact students academically, but more than that she wants to impact students spiritually. She is already brainstorming ideas to start a Christian club at her school that will help students grow and equip them to share their faith with their peers. 

Missouri State students at Beyond

MISSIONS SPOTLIGHT  

While we were in Oregon we were invited to be the missionary spotlight with the youth at Melissa’s home church. It was such a blessing to have children pray over us. Also, Davy’s 8-year-old cousin just accepted Christ and was baptized. She wants to be a missionary someday!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!  

We had the privilege of spending Thanksgiving in Oregon with Melissa’s family (pic: two brothers and a girlfriend). It was a refreshing time with family and lots and lots of great food.  We give thanks for you, our faithful support team, this November. 

Prayer Requests

• We are at 68% of our monthly financial support goal and have only 18 days left in our 100% in 100 days goal. Please pray the Lord provides in huge ways and that we get back to campus before the spring semester begins. 

• Denver Christmas Conference will take place Dec 28 - Jan 2. Davy is on the program team and Melissa will be giving a seminar talk for women.  Please pray for the planning and that God uses the conference to impact students.

HOW CAN WE PRAY FOR YOU? Please fill out the form to the right and tell us how.